Graduate degrees are becoming very important.All Companies usually offer higher salaries and better profit to employees that are highly qualified.The Proof of being highly qualified is a graduate degree. Five of the most famous graduate programs are Law, Education, Engineering, Business, & Medical. This talk about the five best schools in each category based on the U.S. News & World Report. These five categories are not the only graduate programs however.<a href="http://www.americangraduateschools.net/business.html">Business Schools in USA</a>
There are many more, but these are the most common.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Murray Amber shattock
Currently Murray amber freelance IT project magenement at IT projects.net.He is also in internet consultant at Himedia tecnologies co.Ltd(HTC).He is also consultant at business tools.His education is from canterbury(U.K) and central western university(U.S.A) and canterbury christ curch university and the university of Texas at Arlington. http://www.MAS-IT.co.uk
Sunday, December 5, 2010
SHARPA MARRIAGE(NEPAL)
As you approach a certain age you are made cognizant of a package with a ‘made-in-heaven’ label. This contrivance is known more appropriately as marriage.
Between finding the person who is going to try together with you to run this contrivance, and the first time you try it out, is the task of assembling the efforts and events that lead up to marriage.
It is this intermediate period that we shall concern ourselves here, in the case of the Sherpas.
The Sherpas are always keen on doing things on the right day, cosmologically put, on an auspicious day.
The day selected to approach the girl’s house with a marriage proposal is decided after consulting the astrological charts of the prospective bride and groom. Their animal signs, which are conferred upon them according to their birth dates, are also matched for compatibility. The contingent that travels to the girl’s house comprises of a few of the boy’s close relatives; preferably, those whose parents are still alive, and, if they have living grandparents, so much the better. The groom’s parents however, are not part of this party to the bride’s house.This going-over to the bride’s house to ask for her hand in marriage is known as SodenĂ© (‘To Ask’). The ceremony is basically the presenting by the boy’s party of a jar of home-made beer, chhyang, to the girl’s parents. With the beer accepted and drunk, the girl implicitly belongs to the boy’s family.
The duration between the engagement (SodenĂ©) and the marriage is indefinite. The boy is permitted by custom to visit the girl’s house and stay, and physical relations are initiated by the couple.
The next ceremony in the sequence of them leading up to the marriage ceremony is the Dem-Chhyang. The people who constitute the wedding procession, or janti, on the wedding day go to the girl’s house for Dem-Chhyang. The groom is not part of this procession. Though the groom’s family expresses their desire to hold Dem-Chhyang first, the date is mutually selected by the two sides. Chhyang is once again carried as a gift by the groom’s party.
Once in the girl’s house, and as a show of respect to the girl’s side, the boy’s relatives show respect by offering them chhyang and by placing khata scarves on their shoulders. With these gestures of respect completed, those present from the girl’s side respond by inviting the janti for a meal at their houses. This is known as Janti-Kyongup, meaning ‘To Entertain the Procession’. Turn-by-turn, each member of the bride’s kin must host the boy’s relatives. The duration of the Janti-Kyongup varies, depending on the number of the host families. With the procession’s need of victuals more than met, they depart. Dem-Chhyang serves to buttress the tacit ties between the couple, the foundations of which were laid during the SodenĂ©.
Dem-Chhyang, though a decisive ceremony, does not hasten the sides towards the wedding. Time is given to the girl’s family to prepare for the wedding day. The duration is again indeterminate.
A virtuous bride—every groom’s family thinks highly of their prospective daughter-in-law—is someone one wants to usher into their household as soon as possible. ‘As soon as possible’ may possibly turn into just—‘soon’.
So we come to the next ceremony: Pey-Chhyang (from pey meaning ‘consultation’). After a considerate period (considerate because the boy’s side make their decisions keeping in mind the girl’s family, always) from Dem-Chhyang, the party on the boy’s side sets out on an auspicious day to the girl’s house with a proposed date for the wedding. This tentative date may be set at least six months hence.
The girl’s household is informed of the arrival of the boy’s party for Pey-Chhyang, and invite the people who were present for Dem-Chhyang. These invitees have a say on the selection of the wedding date, for they have once again to host the janti on the wedding day. The date proposed by the boy’s side may or may not be accepted as the girl’s side deem appropriate. If rejected, the boy’s side must come on another day, with a new date for the wedding.
If the date is accepted, this is what follows.
A week before the wedding day, in the bride’s house, the Nor Longgup is held. ‘Nor’, in Sherpa, means ‘property’; hence, Nor Longgup is the ‘Request for Dowry’ ceremony. The bride’s parents, who have kept aside their parental contribution, turn on this day to their close relatives and neighbors to make contributions to their daughter’s dowry.
Today, the gifts that are given in dowry may have come a long way from the old days when a blanket of yak-wool was the best gift one could give, which was given only by the closest of relatives. The value of the gifts given reflects the relation that binds the giver and the recipient; the closer the ties, the costlier the gift.
The Sherpas are well-versed in the art of gift-giving. The items given as gifts during Nor Longgup are selected so as to assist in the daily life of the bride. This prudence in gift-giving is reflected in the tradition of presenting the bride with large copper jars for storing water. The rationale for this gift being the lack of availability of running water.
While presenting gifts one has to declare its value. The value is then recorded and, when a girl from that person’s family is married, a gift of an equal, if not higher, value is presented.
On the day of the Nor Longgup the bride’s parents request from amongst those present the services of their daughters to be kermens. The bride’s dowry is required by custom to be transported manually and this responsibility falls to these kermens, young girls, who also befriend the bride on her way to the groom’s house.
The groom’s wedding procession includes the same people who were in the party for Dem-Chhyang, to which more may be added, including one known as Kholluwa, a layman who can perform the duties of a priest, and the other, of course, the groom. The groom is clad in a yellow brocade bakkhu (gown), a traditional cap and, preferably, high boots.
Chhyang, the pre-eminent item, is carried in wooden jars, called dozum. The groom’s party also carries femar, a conical cake made by kneading flour with butter, the size of which stands for the status of the family. The groom’s femar is later exchanged with the one prepared by the bride’s side.
The Kholluwa always leads the wedding procession, carrying a painting—the Sipa Kholu painting. The Kholluwa is thus positioned to allow him to ward off evil spirits from the path of the procession. Conchs are blown to signal the start of the journey to the bride’s house and to offer protection against negative forces. A fire lit in the courtyard signals to the bride’s relatives the advent of the groom’s wedding procession or janti. The Kholluwa performs the Serkim, a religious ritual, before the janti start off.
The wedding procession from the groom’s house to the bride’s is almost solemn; there is no singing or dancing on the way. Important articles for the return journey’s dancing are brought along, however, including several yak-tails, preferably white, and a sword.With incense burning in the bride’s courtyard, young girls with bread, chhyang and curd await in a line to welcome the wedding procession.
Upon the janti’s arrival, the Kholluwa once again performs the Serkim, and the janti enter the bride’s house and are seated. The seating pattern is hierarchical; women usually sit on the floor, and men and women sit separately.
A light meal is served, after which the bride’s side initiate the process of introduction, known as Mola. A person from the bride’s side alludes to the janti’s attire, jewellery, physiognomy, in a light manner bordering on jest. A person from the groom’s side, chosen just for this occasion returns the compliments with bantering remarks.
After this, the groom changes into a lighter bakkhu (gown) and everyone sits down to a meal.
The meal is followed by the Janghtar, where the girl’s relatives are offered chhyang, which must be drunk from the same cup, and khatas are placed on their shoulders. This is done in a hierarchical order. The groom’s party must then sing at least three songs and dance to them. This is done for good fortune.
Then people from the bride’s side invite the janti to their homes for a meal. This hosting of the janti lasts for several days. The schedule for this hosting is so fixed that the last host family on a day is a close relative of the bride and must provide shelter for some of the janti.
On the day of the janti’s departure a ceremony called the Gyen-Kudup is held. A pair of ‘swastik’ signs (for good luck), one for the groom and the other for the bride, are made out of rice grains on a yak-wool blanket laid out flat. After the groom dons his ceremonial brocade gown once again, it is auspicious for the couple to tread on this blanket with their right foot. The groom must sit on the right, the bride to his left, both accompanied by a friend. A literate person from the bride’s side then addresses all those present, reading aloud the contents of the bride’s dowry and the values. The Kholluwa performs the Serkim, and curd is given to the bride and groom to eat. Two elders, one from the bride’s and one from the groom’s side, are selected to put butter on the groom’s and the bride’s head, respectively. They bestow blessings and advice upon the newly wedded. Thereafter, shouts of “lha-gyalo!” break out in unison, thrice, meaning ‘Victory to the Gods’, and hence, victory to everyone present.
Yak-tails flourishing, swords brandishing, conchs bellowing, with a accompaniment of bukshyal (cymbals) a few from the janti party break into the Silli Chombuk, a spirited dance that is kept up until they reach the groom’s house.
The newlyweds ask for the blessings of their parents. The bride presents gifts to her parents and siblings, then takes their leave.
A fire is lit in the bride’s courtyard to let the groom’s household know of the janti’s return. The Kholluwa leads the groom, followed by the bride, along with the kermens carrying the dowry. In
Between finding the person who is going to try together with you to run this contrivance, and the first time you try it out, is the task of assembling the efforts and events that lead up to marriage.
It is this intermediate period that we shall concern ourselves here, in the case of the Sherpas.
The Sherpas are always keen on doing things on the right day, cosmologically put, on an auspicious day.
The day selected to approach the girl’s house with a marriage proposal is decided after consulting the astrological charts of the prospective bride and groom. Their animal signs, which are conferred upon them according to their birth dates, are also matched for compatibility. The contingent that travels to the girl’s house comprises of a few of the boy’s close relatives; preferably, those whose parents are still alive, and, if they have living grandparents, so much the better. The groom’s parents however, are not part of this party to the bride’s house.This going-over to the bride’s house to ask for her hand in marriage is known as SodenĂ© (‘To Ask’). The ceremony is basically the presenting by the boy’s party of a jar of home-made beer, chhyang, to the girl’s parents. With the beer accepted and drunk, the girl implicitly belongs to the boy’s family.
The duration between the engagement (SodenĂ©) and the marriage is indefinite. The boy is permitted by custom to visit the girl’s house and stay, and physical relations are initiated by the couple.
The next ceremony in the sequence of them leading up to the marriage ceremony is the Dem-Chhyang. The people who constitute the wedding procession, or janti, on the wedding day go to the girl’s house for Dem-Chhyang. The groom is not part of this procession. Though the groom’s family expresses their desire to hold Dem-Chhyang first, the date is mutually selected by the two sides. Chhyang is once again carried as a gift by the groom’s party.
Once in the girl’s house, and as a show of respect to the girl’s side, the boy’s relatives show respect by offering them chhyang and by placing khata scarves on their shoulders. With these gestures of respect completed, those present from the girl’s side respond by inviting the janti for a meal at their houses. This is known as Janti-Kyongup, meaning ‘To Entertain the Procession’. Turn-by-turn, each member of the bride’s kin must host the boy’s relatives. The duration of the Janti-Kyongup varies, depending on the number of the host families. With the procession’s need of victuals more than met, they depart. Dem-Chhyang serves to buttress the tacit ties between the couple, the foundations of which were laid during the SodenĂ©.
Dem-Chhyang, though a decisive ceremony, does not hasten the sides towards the wedding. Time is given to the girl’s family to prepare for the wedding day. The duration is again indeterminate.
A virtuous bride—every groom’s family thinks highly of their prospective daughter-in-law—is someone one wants to usher into their household as soon as possible. ‘As soon as possible’ may possibly turn into just—‘soon’.
So we come to the next ceremony: Pey-Chhyang (from pey meaning ‘consultation’). After a considerate period (considerate because the boy’s side make their decisions keeping in mind the girl’s family, always) from Dem-Chhyang, the party on the boy’s side sets out on an auspicious day to the girl’s house with a proposed date for the wedding. This tentative date may be set at least six months hence.
The girl’s household is informed of the arrival of the boy’s party for Pey-Chhyang, and invite the people who were present for Dem-Chhyang. These invitees have a say on the selection of the wedding date, for they have once again to host the janti on the wedding day. The date proposed by the boy’s side may or may not be accepted as the girl’s side deem appropriate. If rejected, the boy’s side must come on another day, with a new date for the wedding.
If the date is accepted, this is what follows.
A week before the wedding day, in the bride’s house, the Nor Longgup is held. ‘Nor’, in Sherpa, means ‘property’; hence, Nor Longgup is the ‘Request for Dowry’ ceremony. The bride’s parents, who have kept aside their parental contribution, turn on this day to their close relatives and neighbors to make contributions to their daughter’s dowry.
Today, the gifts that are given in dowry may have come a long way from the old days when a blanket of yak-wool was the best gift one could give, which was given only by the closest of relatives. The value of the gifts given reflects the relation that binds the giver and the recipient; the closer the ties, the costlier the gift.
The Sherpas are well-versed in the art of gift-giving. The items given as gifts during Nor Longgup are selected so as to assist in the daily life of the bride. This prudence in gift-giving is reflected in the tradition of presenting the bride with large copper jars for storing water. The rationale for this gift being the lack of availability of running water.
While presenting gifts one has to declare its value. The value is then recorded and, when a girl from that person’s family is married, a gift of an equal, if not higher, value is presented.
On the day of the Nor Longgup the bride’s parents request from amongst those present the services of their daughters to be kermens. The bride’s dowry is required by custom to be transported manually and this responsibility falls to these kermens, young girls, who also befriend the bride on her way to the groom’s house.
The groom’s wedding procession includes the same people who were in the party for Dem-Chhyang, to which more may be added, including one known as Kholluwa, a layman who can perform the duties of a priest, and the other, of course, the groom. The groom is clad in a yellow brocade bakkhu (gown), a traditional cap and, preferably, high boots.
Chhyang, the pre-eminent item, is carried in wooden jars, called dozum. The groom’s party also carries femar, a conical cake made by kneading flour with butter, the size of which stands for the status of the family. The groom’s femar is later exchanged with the one prepared by the bride’s side.
The Kholluwa always leads the wedding procession, carrying a painting—the Sipa Kholu painting. The Kholluwa is thus positioned to allow him to ward off evil spirits from the path of the procession. Conchs are blown to signal the start of the journey to the bride’s house and to offer protection against negative forces. A fire lit in the courtyard signals to the bride’s relatives the advent of the groom’s wedding procession or janti. The Kholluwa performs the Serkim, a religious ritual, before the janti start off.
The wedding procession from the groom’s house to the bride’s is almost solemn; there is no singing or dancing on the way. Important articles for the return journey’s dancing are brought along, however, including several yak-tails, preferably white, and a sword.With incense burning in the bride’s courtyard, young girls with bread, chhyang and curd await in a line to welcome the wedding procession.
Upon the janti’s arrival, the Kholluwa once again performs the Serkim, and the janti enter the bride’s house and are seated. The seating pattern is hierarchical; women usually sit on the floor, and men and women sit separately.
A light meal is served, after which the bride’s side initiate the process of introduction, known as Mola. A person from the bride’s side alludes to the janti’s attire, jewellery, physiognomy, in a light manner bordering on jest. A person from the groom’s side, chosen just for this occasion returns the compliments with bantering remarks.
After this, the groom changes into a lighter bakkhu (gown) and everyone sits down to a meal.
The meal is followed by the Janghtar, where the girl’s relatives are offered chhyang, which must be drunk from the same cup, and khatas are placed on their shoulders. This is done in a hierarchical order. The groom’s party must then sing at least three songs and dance to them. This is done for good fortune.
Then people from the bride’s side invite the janti to their homes for a meal. This hosting of the janti lasts for several days. The schedule for this hosting is so fixed that the last host family on a day is a close relative of the bride and must provide shelter for some of the janti.
On the day of the janti’s departure a ceremony called the Gyen-Kudup is held. A pair of ‘swastik’ signs (for good luck), one for the groom and the other for the bride, are made out of rice grains on a yak-wool blanket laid out flat. After the groom dons his ceremonial brocade gown once again, it is auspicious for the couple to tread on this blanket with their right foot. The groom must sit on the right, the bride to his left, both accompanied by a friend. A literate person from the bride’s side then addresses all those present, reading aloud the contents of the bride’s dowry and the values. The Kholluwa performs the Serkim, and curd is given to the bride and groom to eat. Two elders, one from the bride’s and one from the groom’s side, are selected to put butter on the groom’s and the bride’s head, respectively. They bestow blessings and advice upon the newly wedded. Thereafter, shouts of “lha-gyalo!” break out in unison, thrice, meaning ‘Victory to the Gods’, and hence, victory to everyone present.
Yak-tails flourishing, swords brandishing, conchs bellowing, with a accompaniment of bukshyal (cymbals) a few from the janti party break into the Silli Chombuk, a spirited dance that is kept up until they reach the groom’s house.
The newlyweds ask for the blessings of their parents. The bride presents gifts to her parents and siblings, then takes their leave.
A fire is lit in the bride’s courtyard to let the groom’s household know of the janti’s return. The Kholluwa leads the groom, followed by the bride, along with the kermens carrying the dowry. In
the courtyard, female representatives from every family that hosted the janti are lined up, holding chhyang jars. The Kholluwa dips dhupi (incense) saplings into the jars to perform Serkim, which culminates in cries of “lya-gyalo” and the tossing of rice grains. The womenfolk lie up and, in return for their hospitality, are paid money by the janti, starting with the groom’s parents who pay the highest amount. The other members of the janti pay less, varying with their relation to the groom. With the conclusion of this ceremony, the janti proceeds to the groom’s house.
The procession is welcomed at the groom’s house by young girls and after Serkim the bride is ushered into her new home. The janti disperse after a brief session of dancing and singing. Dong-chhyang commences on the same day and continues for several days during which the groom’s relatives visit the household with gifts. This gift-giving also happens in a hierarchical order; the closest relatives visit first followed by more distant ones and by neighbors. The gifts given are recorded and, when a similar event takes places, must be reciprocated.
The kermen girls are hosted by the groom’s relatives for a few days accompanied by the bride. This acquaints the bride to her new relations. On the day of the kermens’ departure the groom’s side sends a messenger to the bride’s house with a summons. A small party consisting of the bride’s parents and close relatives arrive and a meal is served. Dancing and singing also occur. The details of the dowry are announced from a document and the bride’s father hands over this document to the eldest member of the groom’s family. This small contingent then departs together with the kermen, who bid farewell to the bride by singing songs addressed to the groom and his parents, expressing both the faith they have in them and a request to treat their friend well.
This culturally rich and fascinating manner of Sherpa marriage, of uniting two people, is unique in the collective effort of the parents, relatives and neighbors involved. It is a social occasion in its truest sense, reflecting strong communal bonds. Times have changed and so have the traditional modes of marriage just described. So, this account of how it was done traditionally, in the old days, may not necessarily be consistent with the prevalent modes of modern Sherpa marriage.
If any of you bachelors reading this decide (and if our story has anything to do with your decision) to marry, I wish you all the luck. But, since I started by stating the institution of marriage as a contrivance in a somewhat salesman-like manner (though I neither promote or put down the idea of marriage) I am obliged to say to you: caveat emptor.
The procession is welcomed at the groom’s house by young girls and after Serkim the bride is ushered into her new home. The janti disperse after a brief session of dancing and singing. Dong-chhyang commences on the same day and continues for several days during which the groom’s relatives visit the household with gifts. This gift-giving also happens in a hierarchical order; the closest relatives visit first followed by more distant ones and by neighbors. The gifts given are recorded and, when a similar event takes places, must be reciprocated.
The kermen girls are hosted by the groom’s relatives for a few days accompanied by the bride. This acquaints the bride to her new relations. On the day of the kermens’ departure the groom’s side sends a messenger to the bride’s house with a summons. A small party consisting of the bride’s parents and close relatives arrive and a meal is served. Dancing and singing also occur. The details of the dowry are announced from a document and the bride’s father hands over this document to the eldest member of the groom’s family. This small contingent then departs together with the kermen, who bid farewell to the bride by singing songs addressed to the groom and his parents, expressing both the faith they have in them and a request to treat their friend well.
This culturally rich and fascinating manner of Sherpa marriage, of uniting two people, is unique in the collective effort of the parents, relatives and neighbors involved. It is a social occasion in its truest sense, reflecting strong communal bonds. Times have changed and so have the traditional modes of marriage just described. So, this account of how it was done traditionally, in the old days, may not necessarily be consistent with the prevalent modes of modern Sherpa marriage.
If any of you bachelors reading this decide (and if our story has anything to do with your decision) to marry, I wish you all the luck. But, since I started by stating the institution of marriage as a contrivance in a somewhat salesman-like manner (though I neither promote or put down the idea of marriage) I am obliged to say to you: caveat emptor.
NEPALI MARRIAGE CULTURE(NEPAL)
A Traditional Hindu Wedding
If marriages are made in heaven, it is literally so in the Hindu system because of the belief that all major events of life are influenced by heavenly bodies; that is, by the stars, planets, moons and so on. Strict adherence to astrological and ritual aspects of the Vedas, holy scriptures dating back 5,000 years or more, stands proof to this belief system. Hindu marriage is a cumbersome process. A simple task of fixing the marriage date, for example, calls for a consultation with an astrologer who is not a family member and at times a total stranger. He decides on an auspicious date, or Subha Sahit, after gauging the influences of the celestial bodies on the bride and groom based on the dates and times of their birth. Fixing the date is but an end of a long, tedious process of setting everything on a right course. Preceding it are labyrinth of activities, like matching of kundalis and comparing and cross-checking of gotras, or ancestral lineages, of the couple. Marriages within same gotras up to five or six generations are considered unholy and unhealthy.
After matching the kundalis and zeroing in on the Subha Sahit, another custom is Kura Chhinne or engagement ceremony. Purohits or Brahmin priests of both families arrange a meeting at the bride’s place. The groom’s priest pays a visit (a mock one these days) along with his brothers, cousins and friends.
After some lyrical exchanges and deliberation, the bride’s father accepts the proposal made on groom’s behalf and offers paan and supari (betal and areca nuts) by way of invitation.
On the wedding day, the janti or procession, consisting of the groom’s family members, relatives and friends, sets out for the bride’s home. The euphoric procession, usually accomapnied by a musical band, indulges in dance and merrymaking all along the way. The procession stops a few hundred yards from the bride’s place and a group of five or six is sent with fruits and a letter informing the janti’s arrival and urging them to get ready for the welcome. This group, also called bhatkhaure, is required to inform those in charge of the preparations the number of people in the procession and to take the stock of the situation by tasting the hospitality before others. For fun sake the bhatkhaures are served tea laced with hot spices and offered a seat on the floor that either has mustard seed or throny bushes underneath covered by a thin sheet of cloth. The bhatkhaures than lead the groom and the others to the bride’s house.
The bride’s house, the marriage venue, is studded with bright twinkling lights and colorful papers cut in different shapes.
On a small street of Kathmandu members of an orchestra, dressed in red and white attire, playing brass and folk instruments work up a tune from a popular Hindi song that roughly translates as: “Will take away, will take away, the hearty will take away the bride.” Following them, tipsy youngsters dance freely and curse the cold weather. Not far behind is a latest, gleaming white Maruti decorated ornately with colorful flowers, real and those made of paper. On the doors both sides, large initials in thin red and blue paper are pasted: “P+K”. A few paces back are elders, women, girls, children and the groom’s friends in procession. Passers-by and chatting by-standers pause to look and look to pause, respectively. Above, onlookers from the houses along the street stick their heads out from the windows and terraces to get a better view. On the back seat of the car the groom, in a three piece suit and traditional Nepali cap, looks cheerful and a little anxious. A dash of a tika dots his forehead, and garlands wreathed out of seasonal flowers and dubo (an evergreen grass) is draped around his neck covering his shoulders. It is wedding time and the groom is on his way to take his bride away with him.
SAME SEX MARRIAGE
SAME SEX MARRIAGE
A few years back, in an interview with the CBC, the Dalai Lama rejected same-sex relationships to the surprise of many convert Buddhists, who sometimes too easily assume that Buddhist ethics are consistent with their typically progressive views. As the Canadian interview bounced around the internet, some people were shocked and perplexed, but the Dalai Lama’s position shouldn’t have come as a surprise to anyone who has followed the issue. After all, he has been consistent. At a conference some 12 years ago, when g ay leaders met with him in San Francisco to discuss the Tibetan Buddhist proscriptions against gay sex, he reiterated the traditional view that gay sex was "sexual misconduct." This view was based on restrictions found in Tibetan texts that he could not and would not change. He did, however, advise gay Buddhist leaders to investigate further, discuss the issue, and suggested that change might come through some sort of theological consensus. But at a time when same-sex marriage has taken front-stage center in American politics, the Dalai Lama’s more recent statements come as unwelcome news to proponents of civil rights. Does this mean Buddhism condemns same-sex relationships? Not at all. Contrary to popular perception, the Dalai Lama does not speak for all Buddhists. As the leader of the dominant Gelug sect of Tibetan Buddhism, he speaks for one slice of the world’s Buddhist population. The vast majority of Buddhists do not practice in his tradition — however much they respect and admire him — and the Tibetan texts the Dalai Lama refers to were written centuries after the Buddha had come and gone. Buddhism is perhaps even more diverse than Christianity. In fact, the differences among schools can be so vast that some scholars consider them different religions. Indeed, according to Thanissaro Bhikkhu, abbot of the Metta Forest Monastery in southern California, the Buddha never forbade gay sex for lay people as far as we know. "When he drew the line between licit and illicit sex, it had nothing to do with sexual tastes or preferences," he says, citing early texts. "He seemed more concerned with not violating the legitimate claims that other people might have on your sexual partner." The Buddhist monastic code, which contains detailed — and sometimes ludicrous — guidelines (think Leviticus), applies only to monks, leaving the rest open to debate. Western dharma communities are known for their tolerance, and the Dalai Lama himself has openly gay students. It’s rare to hear of anyone being drummed out of a Western Buddhist community for being gay, and in most Buddhist traditions practiced in the West—including the Tibetan communities—sexuality is rarely if ever an issue. misconduct" can’t help but lead people to believe that the Buddha’s teachings proscribe same-sex relationships.
NEWARI CULTURE MARRIAGE
NEWARI CULTURE MARRIAGE
The highest class is of course the priestly class. Priesthood is handed down to the sons by the fathers. Shakya, Bajracharya become priest by birth. Then comes Pradhan, Joshi, Rajbhandari etc. who used to be recruited for governmental services and as the advisors to the King. Then there is the workers’ class. The farmers, artisans and craftmen belong to this class. There are untouchables who are supposedly the cleaners and butchers. The whole social structure of Newars is built on this caste system. With time and the changing mores the attitude towards caste system is definitely changing but even today we find many Newars pursuing their traditional occupation because it is assigned by their caste.
Today we find Newars scattered in various parts of the Nepal but the essentially originated in the Valley. In today’s fast life we see that Newars are still finding time for jatras, pujas, and social ceremonies with equal enthusiasm to continue their unmatched cultural heritage.
Ihi or Bel Bibaha
Normally Newar girls are married thrice in their lives. The first marriage is called “Ihi (Newari) or “Bel sanga bibaha” (Nepali). And then they are married to the Sun which is called “Bara Tayegu” (Newari) or “Gufa Rakhne” (Nepali). When they get into human conjugal relationship its actually their marriage. These marriage ceremonies are conducted both among Buddhist Newars and Hindu Newars.
Ihi or pre-puberty rite among Newars
Before Newar girls reach their puberty they are married to the fruit of wood-apple tree called Bel. It is performed at the girl’s odd age like 5, 7, 9 before they starit menstruation. Ihi is a two-day ceremony commencing with purification rituals and ending with “Kanyadan” of the girl by her father meaning “giving away the virgin”. This Kanyadan ceremony performed in Non-Newar Hindu marriage. So Ihi could actually be taken as the first marriage of the Newar girls except for that they are married to an icon of Suvarna Kumar, the immortal God.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
GAY MARRIAGE
- Annie Groer
Is Gay Marriage a Threat To Our Culture?
Gay Marriage
The crucial topic of gay people getting married once again made headlines this week when the California Supreme Court ruled that some gay people can stay married while others cannot become married. It's a good thing there are no pressing issues in America, or on Earth, because otherwise you could say it's sort of frivolous to be so concerned about something that affects so very few people -- people who generally live in much better neighborhoods than those simple folk who oppose the faraway homosexuals having a wedding.
Even though it's none of my business, I am also seriously worried about the implications of widespread gay marriage. Whatever this or that court or state legislature or bigoted California proposition does today, there is no doubt that homosexual weddings have gone from "Wha?!" to just another market segment of the bridal/honeymoon industry. And that scares me more than any nuclear bomb in North Korea.
Why? Because, if you haven't noticed, gays make most of our culture. They write our teevee shows and Broadway musicals and even books, for those who can still read. They are the world's entertainers, designers and bloggers. And nothing threatens the creative spirit -- which God gave primarily to homosexuals -- more than the awful tedium of marriage.
Take a look at the heterosexual married people around you. Seen any of those people playing "Your Song" in a duck suit at Central Park? I thought not.
There is, as experts have long told us, nothing as banal and soul-crushing as heterosexual marriage. While it may be a relatively safe way to keep the majority of Americans out of trouble until they're too old to do anything at all, this is no way to treat our best and brightest.
Imagine how different our world would be if hobbit legend Ian McKellen had instead chosen the artless drudgery of married life over the excitement of gay London theater! Try to envision the dull gray reality of existence if Shrek heroes Rupert Everett and Rufus Wainwright had settled for the dismal slow death of marriage instead of the spotlights of Hollywood.
Still not convinced? Then the names of these two superstars should say it all: Ellen Degeneres and Rosie O'Donnell.
Synonymous with "comedic genius" and perhaps the finest American humorists since Mark Twain, Ellen and Rosie became gay married -- although not to each other -- and ever since, all we can do is wonder what might have been.
Ellen had the top comedy sitcom teevee show at some point in the past, and we all gathered together each week on the night it was broadcast to laugh together as a national family.
Then came marriage. And like so many married people, our princess of prime time became stuck with the mouth-breathing routine of Daytime Teevee.
Rosie, too. Perhaps our finest "blue collar" comedienne of the 1980s, Rosie was the biggest star in show business. But, eventually, she too had a wedding -- and her fall was even more steep, as she went from daytime teevee to no teevee at all. Who could ever replace her on The View? Many have tried, including wacky newcomer Glenn Beck, but none have come close to her comedic skill and her passion for various new snacks.
Let's not ruin what remains of American Culture. We must keep gays from being destroyed by the living hell that is marriage.
It may already be too late, as gay scientists are said to be perfecting a time machine which would, as part of an all-inclusive wedding package, allow gay couples to travel back to their choice of weekends between July 16, 2008, and the passage of Proposition 8. For an extra fee, the happy partners would be allowed to travel back to 1977, for both a glimpse of famous New York nightlife and the chance to ritually punch Anita Bryant in the mouth.
Even though it's none of my business, I am also seriously worried about the implications of widespread gay marriage. Whatever this or that court or state legislature or bigoted California proposition does today, there is no doubt that homosexual weddings have gone from "Wha?!" to just another market segment of the bridal/honeymoon industry. And that scares me more than any nuclear bomb in North Korea.
Why? Because, if you haven't noticed, gays make most of our culture. They write our teevee shows and Broadway musicals and even books, for those who can still read. They are the world's entertainers, designers and bloggers. And nothing threatens the creative spirit -- which God gave primarily to homosexuals -- more than the awful tedium of marriage.
Take a look at the heterosexual married people around you. Seen any of those people playing "Your Song" in a duck suit at Central Park? I thought not.
There is, as experts have long told us, nothing as banal and soul-crushing as heterosexual marriage. While it may be a relatively safe way to keep the majority of Americans out of trouble until they're too old to do anything at all, this is no way to treat our best and brightest.
Imagine how different our world would be if hobbit legend Ian McKellen had instead chosen the artless drudgery of married life over the excitement of gay London theater! Try to envision the dull gray reality of existence if Shrek heroes Rupert Everett and Rufus Wainwright had settled for the dismal slow death of marriage instead of the spotlights of Hollywood.
Still not convinced? Then the names of these two superstars should say it all: Ellen Degeneres and Rosie O'Donnell.
Synonymous with "comedic genius" and perhaps the finest American humorists since Mark Twain, Ellen and Rosie became gay married -- although not to each other -- and ever since, all we can do is wonder what might have been.
Ellen had the top comedy sitcom teevee show at some point in the past, and we all gathered together each week on the night it was broadcast to laugh together as a national family.
Then came marriage. And like so many married people, our princess of prime time became stuck with the mouth-breathing routine of Daytime Teevee.
Rosie, too. Perhaps our finest "blue collar" comedienne of the 1980s, Rosie was the biggest star in show business. But, eventually, she too had a wedding -- and her fall was even more steep, as she went from daytime teevee to no teevee at all. Who could ever replace her on The View? Many have tried, including wacky newcomer Glenn Beck, but none have come close to her comedic skill and her passion for various new snacks.
Let's not ruin what remains of American Culture. We must keep gays from being destroyed by the living hell that is marriage.
It may already be too late, as gay scientists are said to be perfecting a time machine which would, as part of an all-inclusive wedding package, allow gay couples to travel back to their choice of weekends between July 16, 2008, and the passage of Proposition 8. For an extra fee, the happy partners would be allowed to travel back to 1977, for both a glimpse of famous New York nightlife and the chance to ritually punch Anita Bryant in the mouth.
Same sex marriage
Same-sex marriage
(also called gay marriage)[1] is a legally or socially recognized marriage between two persons of the same biological sex or social gender. Same-sex marriage is a civil rights, political, social, moral, and religious issue in many nations. The conflicts arise over whether same-sex couples should be allowed to enter into marriage, be required to use a different status (such as a civil union, which either grant equal rights as marriage or limited rights in comparison to marriage), or not have any such rights. A related issue is whether the term "marriage" should be applied.[2][3][4]
One argument in support of same-sex marriage is that denying same-sex couples legal access to marriage and all of its attendant benefits represents discrimination based on sexual orientation; several American scientific bodies agree with this assertion.[5][6][7][8] Another argument in support of same-sex marriage is the assertion that financial, psychological and physical well-being are enhanced by marriage, and that children of same-sex couples benefit from being raised by two parents within a legally recognized union supported by society’s institutions.[9][10][11] Court documents filed by American scientific associations also state that singling out gay men and women as ineligible for marriage both stigmatizes and invites public discrimination against them.[12] The American Anthropological Association avers that social science research does not support the view that either civilization or viable social orders depend upon not recognizing same-sex marriage.[13] Other arguments for same-sex marriage are based upon what is regarded as a universal human rights issue, mental and physical health concerns, equality before the law,[14] and the goal of normalizing LGBT relationships.[15][16][17] Al Sharpton and several other authors attribute opposition to same-sex marriage as coming from homophobia[18][19][20][21] or heterosexism and liken prohibitions on same-sex marriage to past prohibitions on interracial marriage.[22]
(also called gay marriage)[1] is a legally or socially recognized marriage between two persons of the same biological sex or social gender. Same-sex marriage is a civil rights, political, social, moral, and religious issue in many nations. The conflicts arise over whether same-sex couples should be allowed to enter into marriage, be required to use a different status (such as a civil union, which either grant equal rights as marriage or limited rights in comparison to marriage), or not have any such rights. A related issue is whether the term "marriage" should be applied.[2][3][4]
One argument in support of same-sex marriage is that denying same-sex couples legal access to marriage and all of its attendant benefits represents discrimination based on sexual orientation; several American scientific bodies agree with this assertion.[5][6][7][8] Another argument in support of same-sex marriage is the assertion that financial, psychological and physical well-being are enhanced by marriage, and that children of same-sex couples benefit from being raised by two parents within a legally recognized union supported by society’s institutions.[9][10][11] Court documents filed by American scientific associations also state that singling out gay men and women as ineligible for marriage both stigmatizes and invites public discrimination against them.[12] The American Anthropological Association avers that social science research does not support the view that either civilization or viable social orders depend upon not recognizing same-sex marriage.[13] Other arguments for same-sex marriage are based upon what is regarded as a universal human rights issue, mental and physical health concerns, equality before the law,[14] and the goal of normalizing LGBT relationships.[15][16][17] Al Sharpton and several other authors attribute opposition to same-sex marriage as coming from homophobia[18][19][20][21] or heterosexism and liken prohibitions on same-sex marriage to past prohibitions on interracial marriage.[22]
One argument against same-sex marriage arises from a rejection of the use of the word "marriage" as applied to same-sex couples,[23] as well as objections about the legal and social status of marriage itself being applied to same-sex partners under any terminology. Other stated arguments include direct and indirect social consequences
Marathi Marriage(india)
MARATHI MARRIAGE
Maharashtra an Indian state that has a elaborate cultural heritage that has a combination of Aryan and Dravidian. Maharashtra is one of the varied state of India which is reflected in its men &women and culture. It is the state with union of various societies, customs and traditions. Maharashtra has an identity defined by its multi cultural nature. The people of Maharashtra commonly known as Maharashtrian or Marathi celebrate and take pleasure from their festivals with enormous joy and fervor. When we discuss Marathi matrimonial it is perhaps the simplest and least lavish marriage ceremony. The people of Maharashtra give more emphasis on sanskar. The marriage couple starts Grihasth-ashram by taking a vow to unite and remain together all through their lives while practicing artha, kama, dharma and moksha. The bride and bridegroom affectionately agree upon their promises given to each other. The bride takes the pledge from her bridegroom that he will never violate the limits known as maryada and the bridegroom takes the pledge from bride to always remain devoted. With the lack of time and space, some of the rituals are going away from Marathi matrimony/ marriage celebration becoming an undemanding affair.
At the start there is a ritual called Sakaharpuda which signifies the concurrence of the couple witnessed by their near and dear ones. It is usually the engagement ceremony wherein the bridegroom's mother applies haldi-kanku to the bride and offers Sakaharpuda and a sari to her. Likewise, the bride's mother applies haldi-kanku to the bridegroom and offers Sakaharpuda and a clothing item to the bridegroom. After this ceremony, the bride and bridegroom exchange the rings onto the anamika (ring) finger of the left hand. The pre-wedding ceremonies begins with the muhurtha karane which takes place on a chosen auspicious day few weeks before the matrimony day. The bride and bridegroom family starts the wedding preparation after this ceremony. Traditionally, five married women are invited with iron pestle tied with mango leaves. The ladies beat halkund (dried turmeric) and grind powder in an iron mortar. This powder is used during haladi ceremony. These days, this tradition is being eliminated in most of the Marathi Matrimony.
The first marriage invitation is given to the Lord Ganesha by visiting to his temple and then they invite personally their nearest dear ones. Next ritual performed is the kelvan just couple of days before marriage. The ceremony is observed at both bride's and groom's place wherein they conduct a puja of their family holy idol known as kuldevta. They take feast on this occasion. Two-three days prior to the marriage day, the close relatives' of groom presents marriage gifts to the bride known as gharacha gadgner. The gifts pack of the bride normally holds exclusive clothes, jewelry and silverware. Similarly, the close relatives' of bride offers marriage gifts to the groom known as gharacha aher. After that is the halad chadavane ceremony which is observed by both bride and groom family typically one day before the marriage day. The haldi powder which is prepared on the day of muhurta day is made into a cream. Five married women dip mango leaves and apply this cream to the various parts of the brides body. Same ceremony is also conducted by the groom's family
Bihari marriage(indian)
Bihari marriage
Silpoha is conducted in the early morning of the day of the marriage in a fasting mode , by the Mother of the groom , supervised and accompanied by her mother-in-law or 'jethani'(husbnd's elder brother's wife).She should be a 'suhagan' and not a widow.They are accompanied by the other elderly ladies of the family for this ritual.The groom's mother (in her chunri attire with nath-teeka and all) along with her mother-in-law perform this puja under the cover of the chunri, grinding 'akshat'(rice) on sil (flat grinding stone) with a rolling pin.
As they grind, they give a call to the Gods and the spirits of the ancestors and ask them to protect their family from all natural (jal,vayu.agni,dhool-mitti etc.) and unnatural calamities.And to bless them to go through this(marriage)yagya without any 'vighna-badha'(obstructions) , to protect their families today and always.They offer their abeyance and seek their 'kshama' and guidance.
The mama- mami give clothes to the family of the groom as blessings on this occassion.
Baraat Prasthan is (departure of the entourage)for the venue of the wedding, usually to the bride's place. But since, now-a days people have small flats, a commercial venue is hired for the occasion). The groom's car is decked up with flowers and fringes. He is accompanied in the car with 'sahwala' (best man), which is usually his youngest brother.Sehwala is appointed with the view that, in case of any mishappening, it shall be he who shall take care of his brother's wife and family and as such, the sahwala is as pampered as the groom at the bride's house.
The groom's car is led to the venue of the wedding with bands playing filmy 'dhuns' and 'laundas'(eunuchs) dancing the way. Youngsters of the family also join the dancing.Now-a-days all the family members , those who wish, join in the dancing.The eunuchs are blessed with 'bakshish' and given 'vidai'.
It is very easy to see a bihari baraat entourage consisting of 300-500 members, if local. If outstation, then it may vary from 50-150 consisting of ladies, gents and children.
Biharis , generally are quite liberal yet traditional. They do not carry any attitude nor are they inhibited by anybody else's attitude. They are quite free of any artificial pomp and show and in a way have a rustic touch of their roots, which they are very proud of.
Silpoha is conducted in the early morning of the day of the marriage in a fasting mode , by the Mother of the groom , supervised and accompanied by her mother-in-law or 'jethani'(husbnd's elder brother's wife).She should be a 'suhagan' and not a widow.They are accompanied by the other elderly ladies of the family for this ritual.The groom's mother (in her chunri attire with nath-teeka and all) along with her mother-in-law perform this puja under the cover of the chunri, grinding 'akshat'(rice) on sil (flat grinding stone) with a rolling pin.
As they grind, they give a call to the Gods and the spirits of the ancestors and ask them to protect their family from all natural (jal,vayu.agni,dhool-mitti etc.) and unnatural calamities.And to bless them to go through this(marriage)yagya without any 'vighna-badha'(obstructions) , to protect their families today and always.They offer their abeyance and seek their 'kshama' and guidance.
rasm # 2
Imli -Ghutai is performed by the groom's (mama-mami) maternal uncle and aunt on the groom just before the 'paricchavan'.This is done to ward away the bad omens and to tell the groom to keep away from all vices. Even if the closest and dearest person around coaxes him to indulge in any vices, he must have the courage to resist it. The mama feeds a beetel leaf to the groom, but the groom just holds it with his teeth and the mother of the groom takes it away from his mouth and eats it herself, signifying that the mother shall take away all the bad omens falling on her son upon herself.The mama- mami give clothes to the family of the groom as blessings on this occassion.
rasm # 3
Paricchavan' is performed by the mother of the groom on the groom just before the departure of the baraat (marriage entourage). She does the aarti of the groom to ward away all bad omens and puts on the 'tilak' on his forehead with her blessings for a new auspicious beginning.Baraat Prasthan is (departure of the entourage)for the venue of the wedding, usually to the bride's place. But since, now-a days people have small flats, a commercial venue is hired for the occasion). The groom's car is decked up with flowers and fringes. He is accompanied in the car with 'sahwala' (best man), which is usually his youngest brother.Sehwala is appointed with the view that, in case of any mishappening, it shall be he who shall take care of his brother's wife and family and as such, the sahwala is as pampered as the groom at the bride's house.
The groom's car is led to the venue of the wedding with bands playing filmy 'dhuns' and 'laundas'(eunuchs) dancing the way. Youngsters of the family also join the dancing.Now-a-days all the family members , those who wish, join in the dancing.The eunuchs are blessed with 'bakshish' and given 'vidai'.
It is very easy to see a bihari baraat entourage consisting of 300-500 members, if local. If outstation, then it may vary from 50-150 consisting of ladies, gents and children.
Biharis , generally are quite liberal yet traditional. They do not carry any attitude nor are they inhibited by anybody else's attitude. They are quite free of any artificial pomp and show and in a way have a rustic touch of their roots, which they are very proud of.
Punjabi marriage(indian)
PUNJABI MARRIAGE
After this, oil is put in the hairs of bride. After this ‘garholi’ is performed. The water from some religious place is fetched and bride is bathed with it. ‘Varnas’ are done to ward off the evil spirits. In the evening, bride is decorated with jewels and flowers. She is dressed in her bridal attires with the make up. ‘Solheehn Singar’ is done by her to look appealing on that particular evening. On the other side, in the groom’s house, ‘Sehara bandi’ is performed by the elders. Sister-in-laws of the groom put kajal in the groom’s eyes. Sisters feed the mare with gram pulse. After this, groom rides on the mare. The whole procession takes place towards the bride’s house where they are welcomed by sprinkling the rose water. The dance and music becomes the part of the whole celebration. ‘Milni’ is performed between both the parties. Garlands and gifts are given to the groom’s family. Then groom is taken to the stage. The bride joins him. Both of them are taken to the site where the priest recites Veda mantras and they take rounds around the holy fire while tied to each other. Vows are taken by both of them and then bride’s father gives her hand in the groom’s hand. Both of them take the blessing of their elders to start a new life. After this, ‘doli’ takes place. It is departure of bride for the groom’s house. When they reach the groom’s house, his mother take a vessel containing water and try to drink it after rounded it from their heads but the groom will stop him. After a few rounds, she drinks the water. Newly weds are welcomed in the house and they played number of traditional games.
Punjabi marriage(india)
Punjabi marriage
Punjabis of India are known for their hospitality all over the world. These people are generally warm in their nature. Punjabi culture is known for its richness. Like the customs and traditions all over the world, the Punjabi culture is bestowed with lot of rituals and practices. It presents most colorful aspect of Indian culture. Sweet tongue of Punjabis often put them on top of the world. The parents often fix marriages in Punjab. The traditional practices have been amended to cope up with the changing times. Love marriages are now days more accepted. Punjabis are generally broad-minded people who have been accepting the marriage between the inter caste people. The marriage means lots of excitement and thrill for the Punjabi people. Often lots of ceremonies are performed once boy and girl agree to marry each other. First ceremony that takes place is the ‘roka’. The boy and girl are given sweets and some money. This is particularly done to prevent the boy and girl families for further searching the prospective partners. After this, engagement ceremony takes place. The bride is provided outfit by the groom’s family. The traditional colors can be pink or red which are considered auspicious for the moment. Rings are exchanged between the boy and the girl. Punjabi marriage consists of numerous ceremonies. ‘Chuda ceremony’ is often associated with presenting of ivory bangles in cream and red colors to the bride by her maternal uncle. Eldest uncle and aunt keep fast till the whole ceremony is performed. Blessings are given and flowers are showered on the girl. Sweets are distributed. ‘Kaliras’, ornaments in gold and silver color are tied around the girl’s hands. After this, the female friends apply paste made of turmeric, oil and sandal on the body of the bride. This is done to enhance the beauty of bride.
Punjabis of India are known for their hospitality all over the world. These people are generally warm in their nature. Punjabi culture is known for its richness. Like the customs and traditions all over the world, the Punjabi culture is bestowed with lot of rituals and practices. It presents most colorful aspect of Indian culture. Sweet tongue of Punjabis often put them on top of the world. The parents often fix marriages in Punjab. The traditional practices have been amended to cope up with the changing times. Love marriages are now days more accepted. Punjabis are generally broad-minded people who have been accepting the marriage between the inter caste people. The marriage means lots of excitement and thrill for the Punjabi people. Often lots of ceremonies are performed once boy and girl agree to marry each other. First ceremony that takes place is the ‘roka’. The boy and girl are given sweets and some money. This is particularly done to prevent the boy and girl families for further searching the prospective partners. After this, engagement ceremony takes place. The bride is provided outfit by the groom’s family. The traditional colors can be pink or red which are considered auspicious for the moment. Rings are exchanged between the boy and the girl. Punjabi marriage consists of numerous ceremonies. ‘Chuda ceremony’ is often associated with presenting of ivory bangles in cream and red colors to the bride by her maternal uncle. Eldest uncle and aunt keep fast till the whole ceremony is performed. Blessings are given and flowers are showered on the girl. Sweets are distributed. ‘Kaliras’, ornaments in gold and silver color are tied around the girl’s hands. After this, the female friends apply paste made of turmeric, oil and sandal on the body of the bride. This is done to enhance the beauty of bride.
jain marriage
Jain Wedding
Every culture, every religion, every community follow their own traditions and rituals, and have their own unique way of marriages. So does the Jain community have their own way going about marrying their children. Jain culture is a believer of peaceful co-existence, mutual dependency, and beneficence from the individual interaction with another individual. Jains believe in forgiveness and friendship. Talking about marriages, it is a worldly affair and is basically recommended because of the fact that the children from the married couple will be followers of Jain dharma. Jains do not believe in dowry at all. And the Jain wedding has very simple rituals and traditions. Marriage is a promise that a couple makes to stay together for lifetime according to Jain dharma. Jains don’t believe in wasting time and money.
Jains find a match for their children from the same community like many other communities. This is for the reason that the children produced from the couple will thus follow same dharma. Jain wedding also has some simple rituals to follow.
The rituals that take place before the wedding comprise of lagan lekhan in which the marriage is fixed. This is followed by sagai which is hosted by groom’s family. Then the groom’s family is welcomed at bride’s house. After this, the women sing mangala geet.
Then the couple takes the phere and take seven vows. Followed by a havan wherein mantras are recited. And finally a married woman takes the pallu of the bride’s sari and it is tied to the groom’s shawl or stole. And the couple stands proudly as legally wed couple. with the groom and afterwards as a token of thanksgiving to God jains give away alms in the temple. And under the shower of blessing from everyone, jains conclude the wedding.
Indian aggange marriage
Indian arrange marriage
Of course, there is always that dark side. While these situations are becoming rarer, they still occur often enough to warrant some discussion on them. There are those families who will use the bride's dowry as their own. Often in these situations, the bride's dowry will be recycled for the groom's sisters' dowry. Sometimes, the groom's family uses the bride's dowry entirely for their own means and the bride does not benefit from it all. There have been horrible, true stories of the groom's family agreeing to one dowry and after the bride is married (and I might add, no longer a virgin) demanding more from the bride's parents. Threats of divorce are often used to entice the bride's parents to give more dowry. In a country where shame is brought down on the divorcee, parents of the bride will do whatever they can to save their daughters this shame. Occasionally, the threat of physical violence is used. There really is no way these type situations can end happily. Even if the bride's parents are able to scrape together more dowry, they will not be able to continue doing so and in the end the bride is either sent home in shame or sometimes killed in an "accident".
Often people do not realize the dowry system has repercussions in many different areas other than the obvious horrible one stated above. Given the fact that a girl's parents must provide a substantial dowry plus try to give her a college education or some form of formal education today, it is not surprising that the number of girl abortions are extremely high in India. Interestingly, India theoretically is a culture which places high value on females. The females of a family are the life-blood, the pride and honor of that family. It is a very contradictory situation to see such importance placed on females and then to see the abortion rates of female babies sky high. Most college-educated Indians I have spoken to, both male and female, stand in firm objection to the dowry system and see that the twisted form it has taken is responsible for the degradation of women. In these families, girl children are just as prized as boy children and parents are teaching their daughters of their own worth as a human being
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